Please stop ruining Valentine's Day

I have a soft spot for Valentine's Day, which always seemed like a holiday that should be a cheerful celebration of the drugstore brand of love ("LUV"), expressed solely by heart-shaped candy and cute teddy bears stitched with bad puns. (The fact that the holiday somehow morphed into something weighty enough to inspire 'anti-Valentine's Day' parties just makes me sad. For a day, let's ignore betrayal and heartbreak and all of the other complications love usually entails, shall we? Let's all just give each other Reeses's Peanut Butter Cups in the shape of a heart and call it day.) So, even though a part of me thinks that if your Valentine's Day gifts are NOT purchased at a CVS, you have probably tried too hard, I'm making my own style of Valentine's Day cards. Also, because my printer just broke, they are each now Limited Edition by default. I'll be selling them at The Fridge (and giving them to friends with candy scotch-taped to the envelopes, natch) but if you're reading this and would like one, send me a message and I may have a comp or two.