So DC Art Scene walks into a bar...

Several months ago, I had a very earnest discussion regarding the personalities of various liquor types. For example: vodka I always imagined as a slender, tall blonde. A party girl. Rum is her date, rugged and handsome, but will kick your ass if need be. Gin is the man in the suit in the corner with a flower on his lapel. Beer is the dude in faded jeans watching the game; bourbon is the well dressed philosophy major who is an excellent listener. I mention this because I was recently reading about DC's artistic identity to which the same thought experiment can apply. Saying that lots of people make art in Washington DC doesn't tell you very much, since that's true of a lot of cities. But if you met the DC Art Scene in a bar, how would it compare to New York Art Scene? Or LA Art Scene or Baltimore Art Scene?

In my head, DC would be a bit defensive, but polite; some sort of curator-turned-artist or artist-turned-curator. Very well-educated, but not always smart. Will occasionally use big words that will cause New Orleans Art Scene to roll his eyes. Baltimore Art Scene will show up wearing paint splattered clothes and a screen printed tee shirt, opposite of LA Art Scene who is clean and pretty, clad in crisp bright colors, although everyone suspects she has a nasty dark side. New York has the breezy confidence of the guy who can get the number of any girl in the room.

Since these personifications are just the first that pop into my head based upon my own experiences (or lack thereof), I'd be curious to hear others. So please put your own visions in the comments. If DC's art scene was a guy in a bar, who would it be?